Ever have one of those moments in life where you just want to scream at the top of your lungs or one where you cry hysterically into your pillow thinking why me? My life recently has taken my emotions on a wild and crazy rollercoaster and here’s why…
This past November, my husband (his name is Christopher..you might as well get to know him on a first name basis as I’m sure he’ll be mentioned a millions times in this blog) and I found a lump on our daughter, Twizzler’s neck. (If you read my “about” section, you would already know that she is really a dog..we just love her like a daughter.) Anyways, we were a little suspicious and decided to take her to the vet. After a surgical biopsy and many expensive testing done, we found out right before Christmas that Twizzler has large cell lymphoma. Because it was determined at the time that it was slowly progressing, we really didn’t have anywhere to go, but to wait until it got worse. Well, fast forward about two weeks and we found another lump on her neck. Back to the vet. We ended up finding out that all of her lymph-nodes were inflamed and that the cancer had spread throughout her body. We immediately took her to her treating oncologist to start chemotherapy. Complete devastation. (This is one of many times I cried and cried…and well cried some more into my pillow..)
Twizzler is only three years old. Most dogs who get cancer don’t get it until they are older, like much older. To have a dog who has been diagnosed with cancer at such a young age was such a horrible feeling. She is so young and so full of life; why did this horrible thing happen to her..happen to us? I’m fairly certain from the moment we found out I was a complete emotional wreck. I cried constantly and became emotional about the littlest things. My husband can attest to all of this. I would be fine one moment and then the next thing you know.. I was balling my eyes out. He never understood it, but I would just look at Twizzler and she would give me this huge kiss on the face and I would lose it. Imagining life without her devastated me and it still does to this day. A lot of people don’t understand it. Yeah, they feel bad for us…but they don’t really understand what we’re going through. My boss is a prime example. When trying to relate to my situation, he’s all like, “Yeah, I have cats..and I know ya feel.” Simply put, no you don’t. You aren’t a dog person and you just don’t get it. I appreciate the sympathy, but you just don’t understand and you never will until you love a dog.
Once Twizzler was diagnosed with lymphoma, I knew that I needed to rely on God to help us get through this. Not only did I need to rely on Him for Twizzler’s treatment and hopeful success, but for Christopher’s and my finances. If you know anything about chemo, you know it’s not cheap. And the treatment process for a dog is no different than for a human. We knew going into this that we would have to make some major sacrifices in order for Twizzler to receive proper treatment. Ultimately, we have put it all in God’s hands. We now praise God for the simple blessings in life like saving a few extra bucks at the grocery or having a dear friend treat us to dinner because they know we wouldn’t be able to go otherwise. God has truly be evident throughout this whole process.
It’s been one week since Twizzler’s first treatment and she received her second this morning. Around 11am, I received a phone call from her oncologist with some news about her progress. And this is the part where I scream at the top of my lungs…PRAISE GOD! After just one week of chemotherapy, Twizzler has shown significant progress.. all of her lymph-nodes have shrunk down to almost normal size. To see such progress after one week barely ever happens and gives us such great hope for Twizzler’s future. Even if her lymph-nodes go completely back to normal and she has no more signs of cancer (a state of remission), she will still need to complete the full 19-week treatment process. However, we also know that the cancer could never go away and end up coming back stronger than before. Either way, we are totally relying on God. It’s such a blessing that Twizzler has shown such amazing progress and I can’t do anything else but praise God. Our God is such an awesome God and truly answers prayers. We have a long way to go, but we know God will help us get through it…no matter what happens.
There’s a saying that has really helped me get through the tough times in life, especially this one… “Don’t tell God how big your storm is, tell the storm how BIG your God is!” Isn’t that so true?
To leave you… I want you to go listen to Jeremy Camp’s “Walk by Faith.” My favorite part is the chorus.. “Well I will walk by faith even when I cannot see. Well because this broken road prepares your will for me.” I don’t know what God has in store for Twizzler, but I do know that whatever happens my faith in God will help me get through it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgWOcYpHm0o&ob=av2el
Our daughter, Twizzler