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If you haven’t already guessed by the title… Twizzler is officially out of remission. She went in to see her oncologist today and the doctor knew almost immediately. Her neck is so swollen that it is inhibiting her breathing.. basically the thought is that one of the lymphnodes is pressing against her trachea. Twizzler received a very powerful injection today in hopes to bring all her lymphnodes back down to normal (as they were all enlarged). If that doesn’t work.. it means that her body is resisting treatment. The cancer will be too powerful for any medication to help. Whether this injection works or not, we will try another course of treatment next week in hopes of it helping even the slightest bit.

So, to say the very least.. it’s quite a somber time for the Kerns family. If you know me.. or have been an avid follower of my blog, you’ll already know that my dogs are my children. I literally treat them as if I carried them in my womb for nine months. I love them as human beings (possibly even more so).. and for those of you who aren’t dog lovers or even animal lovers, you’ll never understand. Hearing the news today broke my heart. And every time I think about it, another piece of my heart breaks a little bit more.

I’m trying to stay positive… hoping and praying this injection works, but it’s hard. It’s hard to continue this fight. Everything was going so well and she had been in remission for so long. She was doing wonderfully and it was like all of a sudden we hit a brick wall. It seemed to come out of nowhere.

Deep down in my heart, I know that if and when she passes away.. that she’ll be in a better place.. completely healed and playing fetch with Jesus. But.. I just don’t want .. and physically can’t admit that out loud. I don’t want her to go and the thought of it just makes me crumble inside. The thought of never playing with her again or having her jump in my arms or receiving a million kisses at the break of dawn or going on runs with her ever again.. just kills me.

So.. to all my prayer warrior friends out there.. I’m asking for your help. Please pray for Twizzler.. pray for healing. I ask you to pray that this medication works and that God is able to perform a healing miracle in her body… that this cancer is wiped away. I’m also asking you to pray for me.. and for the rest of my family, including Twizzler’s brother, Goober. Pray that I am able to completely lift my worries to God and that I am comforted and given the peace that only He can give during this time. Pray for our family as we go through this extremely difficult time.

For your prayers… I will be forever grateful.