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Sometimes holding a grudge is easier than letting the hurt go…

We’ve all been betrayed by someone we love. And many of those times, it’s so hard to forgive.

Sometimes it’s hard because we simply don’t feel like forgiving.
Sometimes it’s hard because we don’t feel the person deserves it.
Sometimes we feel that it’s not our place to forgive.
Sometimes we cannot forgive others because we cannot forgive ourselves.
Sometimes the pain is so deep it seems impossible to forgive.
Sometimes it’s just too difficult to even bring up.

We all have our ‘sometimes..’

I can think of three very distinct events in my life where I never wanted to forgive the person for wronging me. In one event, I just gave in and agreed with her to just disagree. However, because we never truly settled the disagreement, I’m not even sure I really forgave her. Sometimes I think I have, but then other times I still hold a tiny little grudge. And those ‘sometimes’ are what’s preventing me from truly forgiving her.

In another instance, I’m not even sure I made it known to the person that I forgave them. Ever since the betrayal, I would see him and completely ignore him and think a lot of ‘not-so-nice’ thoughts. I wanted nothing to do with him. We made it known to each other that we never planned on talking again.. it was just one of those unspoken agreements. A little over a month ago, I saw him and just felt compelled to reach out. Maybe I had too much eggnog in me or was filled with too much Christmas jolly, but I felt the need to stir up a conversation with him. We talked for a little and Chris and I mentioned that he should come see the new house sometime. I never uttered the words, “I forgive you,” but I feel like he knows it. But maybe, sometimes he still thinks I still hold that grudge. It’s that ‘sometimes’ that makes me question whether I really did forgive him.

And in a final event, I am at that point where I never want to forgive this person. Too much hurt and pain was caused by this person. I know I should, but to be perfectly honest with you, I just don’t want to. This ‘sometimes’ in this situation is really an ‘all of the time’ kind of situation. I’m praying for peace over this situation and maybe one day I will forgive him.

Jesus calls us to be forgivers. In Matthew 18 it says, “Then Peter came to Him and said, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?’ To which Jesus answered, ‘I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” Later He said to His disciples, “…if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.”

Why should we forgive? We forgive because He forgave us. For all the times we have wronged Him and for all of the times we will wrong Him, He forgave us. Because He forgave us we can forgive others.

Maybe you are going through a situation similar to one of mine. Let’s pray for each other as we deal with these emotional struggles. Through each other’s encouragement, love and support maybe we can conquer these hurdles together.

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